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OCTOBER 1999 EDITION


by Rabbi Moshe Lieber

Excerpted with permission from
“THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT - HONORING PARENTS”

Published by ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications Ltd., Brooklyn, NY
Web: http://www.artscroll.com



The mitzvah of honoring parents is a most fundamental commandment, so much so that it is one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16).

The Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 6:2) views it as the most stringent of mitzvahs, for the Torah compares the duty to honor parents to the duty to honor God. How so?

The Ten Commandments were given to the Jewish people inscribed on two Tablets, with five imperatives on each one. In general the first five (belief in God, prohibition to practice idolatry, prohibition to swear falsely, observance of the Sabbath, and honoring parents) are related to man's relationship with God, while the last five (prohibitions against murder, marital disloyalty, kidnapping, testifying falsely, and coveting) are all elements in governing man's relationship with his fellow man. The commandment of honoring parents, interestingly, appears among the first five. This comes to teach us that honoring parents is not merely an interpersonal duty incumbent upon children in their relationship with parents, but rather it is also a mitzvah which impacts upon man's relationship with God (Menoras HaMaor, see Sefer HaChinuch 33 and 212).



EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE

According to [The 16th century commentator] Sefer HaChinuch, the underlying reason for this mitzvah is to give expression to the gratitude we have toward parents for bringing us into the world and for all that they have done for us in the course of our lives. One must honor his parents in all possible ways as an expression of thanks to them, for there is no character trait more despicable in the eyes of God and man than the lack of gratitude.

Furthermore, through acquiring this sentiment one will come to recognize and be thankful to God for all that He does for man. God, Who is the Cause of existence of every person - and the person's parents and forebears, all the way back to the first man - brings each human being into this world and provides him with all his needs. Likewise, God created man with all his physical capabilities and endowed him with an intelligent soul, without which man would be as senseless and unintelligent as the horse or mule. Out of a sense of indebtedness, therefore, man should realize how careful he must be in his service of God.



DEEPER LESSONS

Nevertheless, although the mitzvah to honor parents is based on the concept of gratefulness, even when parents give their children nothing, the obligation to honor them is in no way diminished. [The 19th century commentator] Ksav Sofer views this as the lesson the Torah teaches us in the second record of the Ten Commandments (Deuteronomy Ch. 5), where we are commanded to honor parents “as the Lord your God commanded you.” What, he asks, is the import of this seemingly superfluous phrase? The message of this expression, he explains, is that while the Jews were wandering in the desert, God Himself took care of all the needs of His children. Manna for food, a well for water, clothes that never wore out and all other necessities of life were provided by God, with almost nothing coming from one's biological parents.

Despite this situation, however, God commanded the Jews of the time to honor their parents. Thus, the Torah teaches that in all situations, even one similar to the situation at the time we received this mitzvah (when parents provided nothing), we are obligated to honor them. Thus, according to Ksav Sofer, the Torah writes that a man must revere his parents (Leviticus 19:3). Even when a child is already a "man," grown up and no longer dependent on his parents, he still must revere them.



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